Not too long ago I made reference to my thoughts (as I often do) during one of my long runs.
14.13 miles on that particular day was my longest run to date. I recall many things I was thinking during that run. I had been running most of that run alone, without any music and in the rain. One thing in particular that I made reference to how awesome my run was as well as how I was thinking "haters gonna hate." I said in this post that I was going to come back and explain that comment. I didn't come back immediately for a few reasons but don't really feel as though I need to go into a ton of details on the why other than WHY should I have to explain to anyone my thoughts when they question them? I don't have to.
For the last couple of weeks I didn't want to because what it did was give me more time to think further about how haters do hate. I feel like I haven't gained any haters in the last couple of weeks. Instead I feel like I've gained a lot of love. Not just the love of others but more love for myself. This journey (as I have said many times) is not about anyone else really but me. Sure my family and close friends are involved as my support and motivation and my husband and kids sacrifice a lot of things along the way for me BUT it really is about me. It's about me bettering myself for them and for myself...for LIFE!
When I orgininally wrote "haters gonna hate" and was questioned what it was for or who it was for I let it bother me that I was actually questioned in the manner that I was. Why? Because it was someone questioning MY own thoughts during my run. It was like someone out there was trying to tell me that the thoughts I have during MY RUNS are dumb or made up which is totally not true. I run for me. I run for my sanity. I run to clear my head. Clearing my head means a whole number of things. When I'm running I think about a lot of stuff. I think about anything from my childhood to my current day. Which brings me to what exactly "haters gonna hate" meant for me during that 14.13 mile run.
For me the haters are:
~ that girl in the mirror who once weighed 237 lbs and STILL has the nerve to look back and say, "you're ugly" or "you're fat."
~ the voice that when I feel like I can't possibly take anymore says, "You can't do this."
~ the trainer at my gym who said, "I don't think you can do it," to me in reference to a challenge going on at my gym over the holidays and my want to lose 10lbs between November and January.
~ the "friend" who constantly tries to compete with me while running.
~ the "friend" who thinks it is ok to constantly criticize my efforts towards running and weight loss.
I say to those haters:
~ Look how far you've come. You've lost over 80 lbs and gained a heck of a lot of fitness over the last 3 years. You are beautiful and fit and should embrace that.
~ You CAN do this. Look back at where you were when you crossed that finish line in 2009 and look at the girl who crossed a finish line 2 weeks ago!
~ I did do it! And then some...
~ Stop competing with me. I'm my own competition. Every time I lace up my shoes is a new competition with myself.
~ You can be successful too. You have to want it. Don't criticize me for making myself better. Step back and look at yourself to see where YOU can make changes for the better.
So much of my "haters gonna hate" came from within me.. my own head/voice. My haters was less about other people and more about me. There was a brief moment, after I was questioned about my comment, that haters became other people but I let that go because I know the real hate and doubt was the old me battling the new me and who I am becoming. I've said it a lot and will say it again.. this journey isn't all ups. There are so many downs that only those closest to me see or hear about. It's a daily struggle to accept who I am, who I have become and who I will be. So, if you have ever been a hater in someone's life I encourage you to step back and before judging them, think about where they may have come from. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a beginning. Before you hate on someone OR yourself think about that. Be encouraging, motivational, and positive. We gain so much more by helping others and ourselves than we do cutting them down or being negative. It's not always easy to forget the haters but I am slowly learning to let go. I'm learning to surround myself with the positive and weed out the negative which has made for a much happier me.
I also want to share this with you. A close friend, who also knows my story and what I have gone through to get where I am shared this link with me today and I thought it was perfect timing. I didn't read it right away. Instead I read it after I wrote my post but thought it was perfect and worth the share. Natalie Jill - Haters Gonna Hate
Someone else gets it. (insert confident smile) Be blessed friends!